Ask Boot (the first)

Apparently, I know what I'm talking about. Or, at least, I've managed to convince some people that I know what I'm talking about. Hard to say. Whatever the case, every so often, someone asks me a question about bdsm, about fetish, about kink in general. They ask me like I know, and I do my best to answer them, with the understanding that I don't know everything.

So I'm going to add a new feature to the blog. Ask Boot. You ask questions, I'll do my best to answer them. Like an advice column, only written by someone who usually writes erotica for people, rather than someone with actual credentials.

Got a question? Ask away.

For today's installment, I want to talk about the topic nearest and dearest to me: boots.

To get more specific, let's put things in question form. I know what you may be thinking. You might be thinking Hey, if you call yourself Boots, you must be some kind of expert. An awesome and brilliant expert who knows all about boots and all about fetishes and everything else. Bet you're handsome, too.

 

Okay, maybe that's not exactly what you're thinking. Let's try again.

 

What is a boot fetish? What does it encompass? (also, you're awesome.)

Look, I appreciate your approval, but that part isn't important. Let's talk about what you actually asked. Because you asked a mouthful. (no pun intended)

Let's start with agreeing on what a fetish is. A fetish is when you feel sexual attraction to a non-sexual thing or object. People have fetishes for all kinds of things. Many of them are clothing related, like a fetish for leather, or for sweaters, or for gloves, or glasses, or cravats (yes, cravats. I'm sure it's out there). The idea is that something that is not inherently sexual causes sexual desires. That's not the greatest definition, but it will work for our purposes.

So having a boot fetish is when you get turned on by boots. That's the simple explanation. From there, things get complicated.

You may not have noticed this, but there are a lot of different kinds of boots out there. If you're a man, and you don't have a fetish for footwear, you've probably never noticed that before. If you're a woman, and don't have a fetish for it, you probably just like shoes because they're pretty. But even if you've noticed that there are lots of different kinds of boots, it doesn't stop there. Still, let's start there.

Off the top of my head... There are combat boots, knee highs, thigh highs, ballet boots, hiking boots, dancing boots, snow boots, open toed boots... the list goes on and on. And then within the various types of boots, there are different materials (leather, vinyl, latex, suede, felt, knit, etc). And even within that, there are even more specifics, like colors, finish, etc. Laces versus zippers, buckles and snaps... the list goes on and on and on.

But it's more. I know what you're thinking. Seriously, Boot? More? How much more can there be? (btw: awesome... seriously).

There can be a lot more. You see, when people fixate on something, they go one of two ways. Either they fixate somewhat generally, meaning they start loving all boots, or they get specific. Really specific. That's where the 'more' comes from.

Some people like dirty boots. Muddy, stained with road salt, covered in horse manure, dusty, you name it. Some like boots that are 'dirty,' meaning covered with something that isn't generally found at random, like jello, or powdered sugar, syrup, whatever. Some like boots that are scuffed, well worn, cracked, torn apart, held together by duct tape; it takes all kinds, as they say.

 

But why? What makes someone like this over that?

I don't know. I know that's not the answer you were hoping for, but give me a break. It's my first day. Okay, okay, don't look at me that way. Just put down the gun, and let's talk about this like civilized perverts. I'll give it a shot. Okay, bad choice of words.

I don't know where fetishes come from. I don't know what causes it. But I know that there is generally a first time, a first manifestation. In other words, there is something that first makes us register our fetish. And whatever triggers it, that probably has a lot to do with how the fetish develops.

Maybe it would help if I told you a couple of potential stories about how a fetish might start.

So let's imagine Adam. Adam is a teenager, kind of a loner. He's never had many friends, mostly because he isn't ready to accept that he's gay. He has never found any dates, because he's never been sure of what he wants.

One day, Adam is watching TV late at night. He happens to catch a movie with bikers in it. He sees all that leather, sees the badass look on the guys, sees the girl being treated like a piece of meat, sees her enjoying being treated that way. He sees the leather pressed against her skin, the slutty makeup, the bare skin. But instead of thinking how hot the girl is (because Adam's gay, remember?), he finds himself thinking about why she likes being treated that way. Something about it turns her on enough for her to be okay with it. So something about it must be sexy.

Adam can't figure it out, but he keeps wondering. There must be something. And he finds himself thinking, not about her, but about him. About them, the bikers. Something about them must be sexy. Something about them turns her on, and maybe that's something important. But what do they have in common? Tattoos? (maybe; there are tattoo fetishes) Leather? Denim? They're all dressed differently. They're different sizes, different shapes. The only thing they have in common is that they're all bikers. And they're all wearing boots. Biker boots.

So now, every time Adam sees a pair of biker boots, he finds himself getting reminded of the movie, and getting a little bit turned on. And when he sees a man he finds attractive, who happens to be wearing the same kind of boot, it's finally enough for him to admit to himself that he's attracted to men. And if that man is wearing boots, all the better.

Or consider Betty. Betty never really felt all that attractive, never felt all that powerful. Until one day, when she found a pair of knee high boots that laced up the front, with a tough looking tread, a little bit of a heel, and that hugged her leg like a second skin. Best of all, they were on sale.

So she bought them. And when she walked out of the store wearing them, she discovered that her stride was a bit longer. That she drew stares, the good kind, as she walked. Suddenly, it didn't matter that she might not be a size zero. It didn't matter that she didn't look like a supermodel. All that mattered was that she felt sexy. She felt powerful. People were looking at her, and they wanted to be with her.

She felt like she could kick someone's ass. And that made her feel good. And every time she bought a new pair of boots, she got that feeling again. Every time she walked around with her boots on, she felt sexy.

And then there's Carl. Carl didn't know how to ask girls out on dates. He didn't know what it was that turned him on about girls. Then there was a girl who liked him, who wanted to ask him out. And she was nervous while she did it. Kept shuffling her feet, rubbing the soles of one boot over the toe of the next. She left streaks of dirt on her boots, and Carl couldn't help himself.

He kept looking at them, and he started blushing. Started smiling, enjoying the feeling of someone who likes him, someone who wants to go out with him bad enough to ask him out. Even if she is nervous. He looks at her, and he doesn't think she's all that attractive. But there's something about her. Maybe it's the fact that she likes him. Maybe it's something about the reality of her as a potential partner. But the more he thinks about her, the more he likes her. The more attractive she becomes.

And every time he thinks about her, he thinks about those streaks of dirt. He thinks about her shuffling feet, her boots. And whenever she wears those boots, he finds her more attractive.

Now, did any of these stories happen? Probably. And the thing each of them had in common was that each of these people have a boot fetish. But very different boot fetishes. Each of those three are focused on a specific kind of boot, and each of them is related to a formative experience in the person's life.

Do all fetishes have that kind of link? Do all fetishes have that kind of origin?

I don't know. Probably not. I can only speak from experience, my own and those of other people. In that experience, yeah, fetishes have that kind of formative moment. That kind of starting point.

Did that answer your question?

 

It's a start, Boot. Thanks.

 

You're welcome.

 

You're awesome.

 

You keep saying that.

Don't stop.